I’m convinced that there’s a parlor game going on inside major American newsrooms.
Almost seven years ago, The Washington Post set a new standard for horribleness in headlining by describing the recently deceased head of the Islamic State group, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, as an “austere religious scholar.” This was woke euphemism on a level so thoroughly bonkers that most media watchers thought it could never possibly be topped.
The parlor game is an attempt to topple it, of course. And while the death of the thankfully late Ayatollah Ali Khamenei gave the media some practice when applying the principle to Islamist scoundrels, The New York Times’ attempt to whitewash (in more ways than one) the events outside Gracie Mansion this weekend really does deserve some plaudits in this race to the bottom of the honesty barrel.
So, just in case you’re catching up to this one, six people were arrested after homemade explosive devices were tossed by leftist pro-Islamist counter-protesters outside of Gracie Mansion, the home of the New York City mayor, on Saturday.
The improvised explosives were hurled sometime after noon at forces allied with Jake Lang, a controversial right-wing influencer who was leading a march to “stop the Islamification of NYC,” according to the New York Post. Late Sunday, the Post reported, “FBI agents raided the Pennsylvania homes of the two ISIS-inspired extremists accused of hurling” the bombs.
The FBI’s Evidence Response Team searched the Langhorne homes of Ibraham Kayumi, 19, and Emir Balat, 18, on Sunday after the radicals were busted for allegedly throwing homemade IEDs during a violent clash between right-wing agitators backing Jake Lang and pro-Muslim counter-protesters Saturday afternoon.
Photos showed agents hauling evidence, including what looked like computer parts, from Balat’s home. …
The makeshift bombs — a sports drink bottle stuffed with TATP and wrapped in construction tape — were lobbed at Lang’s crew as the rival demonstrators squared off near Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s Big Apple residence during a planned anti-Muslim rally organized by the “white supremacist.”
The deadly devices — packed with the terrorist-favored volatile explosive known as “Mother of Satan” — fortunately failed to detonate, after police swiftly secured the bombs, removed the lethal mix and ended the threat.
So obviously, unpleasant stuff, and we’re lucky that nobody got killed at the event. It’s also worth noting that the men gave no question as to what their motives were, yelling “Allahu Akbar” before the explosives were thrown. Best not to keep us guessing, I suppose.
The New York Times, nominally being Gotham’s newspaper of record, was therefore forced to report on it. As of Monday morning, its headline read thusly: “Homemade Bomb Thrown at Protest Near N.Y.C. Mayor’s House, Police Say.”
That is not how it always read, and you’ll not be surprised to discover that some “austere religious scholar” nonsense went into the original:
“Smoking Jars of Metal and Fuses Thrown at Protest Near Mayor’s House”
It was a bomb that the NYPD said could have killed people. Two Muslim extremist suspects have been arrested for that attack on the anti-Islam protest. The two suspects praised allah after their capture.… pic.twitter.com/R7POlxZd3K
— Andy Ngo (@MrAndyNgo) March 8, 2026
Yeah, I wonder what “smoking jars of metal and fuses” are called, particularly when thrown at infidels. Give this much to Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi: At least he knew to call it a bomb.
You perhaps also won’t be surprised to find that throwing the “smoking jars of metal and fuses” was almost an afterthought when the Times described the events of the day, after going through the charges that had been filed against the accused:
The turbulent scene in one of New York City’s swankiest neighborhoods began with a plan by the far-right provocateur Jake Lang for a “Stop the Islamic Takeover of New York City” demonstration near Gracie, the Upper East Side home of New York’s first Muslim mayor, Zohran Mamdani.
Mr. Lang showed up with a goat and about 20 followers, who were wearing American flag hats and “Freedom” sweatshirts, echoing the slogan on a shirt worn by the slain conservative activist Charlie Kirk. As the day wore on, and the crowd of counterprotesters shouting at Mr. Lang grew to more than 100, tensions swelled.
One of Mr. Lang’s fellow protesters sprayed Mace at a group of counterprotesters, sending some doubling over in tears. Fistfights broke out among the crowd, and raw eggs flew through the air.
Then a counterprotester threw two smoking objects, one of which landed on East 87th Street in flames, prompting protesters to run for cover.
And by the way, they weren’t the only dishonest actors in this whole saga, including Mayor Mamdani himself, who saw fit to mention Mr. Lang first in the order of deplorables:
Multiple arrests made after “suspicious devices” found outside Gracie Mansion, home of Mayor Zohran Mamdani, during anti-Islam rally and counterprotest.https://t.co/qKvlIENj5A
— NBC New York (@NBCNewYork) March 8, 2026
Yesterday, white supremacist Jake Lang organized a protest outside Gracie Mansion rooted in bigotry and racism. Such hate has no place in New York City. It is an affront to our city’s values and the unity that defines who we are.
What followed was even more disturbing. Violence…
— Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani (@NYCMayor) March 8, 2026
“What followed was even more disturbing.” You don’t say, Mr. Mayor? I was led to believe that no matter what came out of your mouth in these United States, it didn’t warrant having a bomb thrown at you — or “smoking jars of metal and fuses,” to use the Times’ verbiage.
You almost wonder how long it will take everybody to find a way to call the suspect “austere religious scholars.” Better get cracking, American left. That one will take some talent.
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