Roei Shalev took his girlfriend and soulmate, Mapal Adam, to the Nova music festival on October 7, 2023, to celebrate. The couple had recently moved in together, and they thought the festival was the perfect venue to share their happiness.
When Hamas terrorists attacked the festival, Shalev and Adam took shelter under a truck and played dead. They lay for hours in the dirt, hearing the clatter of automatic gunfire and screams of victims.
During the attack, Mapal texted her sister, Maayan Adam.
“Don’t tell Mom,” wrote Mapal. “I’m scared, Maayan.”
“There’s a massacre, there’s a massacre,” she texted. “Bullets are hitting me in the head.”
Roei Shalev lay on top of his love, looking to shield her. He texted Mapal’s sister, with whom he was very close, telling her he would protect Mapal.
“He has my back for life. I will always love him, help him and support him,” said Maayan. “Sometimes I find some comfort in the fact that she died in the arms of the man who loved her, in one moment. He assured me that she didn’t see the terrorists at all, that she looked at him and closed her eyes.”
Shalev was shot twice in the back while lying on top of Mapal. A bullet went through Roei and hit Mapal, killing her instantly.
Maayan told the Israeli online news outlet Ynet last year, “Roei lay next to the dead love of his life for about two hours, until the army arrived and rescued him. She was hit by a bullet that penetrated her ribs and went into her heart — I say her heart was so big that it was impossible to miss it.”
On Friday, Roei Shalev committed suicide by setting his car on fire.
Heartbreaking💔 October 7 survivor, Roei Shalev, took his own life last night, unable to bear the pain any longer after losing the love of his life, Mapal, who was murdered by Hamas on that horrific day.
May his memory be a blessing. pic.twitter.com/R8fYkfoTU5
— Vivid.🇮🇱 (@VividProwess) October 11, 2025
CCTV footage captured Shalev at a gas station filling a canister with fuel shortly before his body was found, according to the report.
The traumatized survivor shared a goodbye message on his Instagram page prior to the grisly immolation — describing the pain and loss he has felt since the massacre that took his partner.
“I’m truly sorry. I can’t bear this pain any longer,” Shalev said in a heartbreaking message to Instagram Friday, the outlet reported. “I’m burning inside, and I can’t contain it anymore.
“Never in my life have I felt such pain and suffering — deep, burning, eating me from within. I just want this suffering to end. I’m alive — but inside, I’m already dead.”
Shalev is survived by his father and sister — his mother died by suicide two weeks after October 7. Tragically, she, too, died after setting her car on fire.
While the Israeli government says that suicides among October 7 survivors are rare, others dispute that. Shalev was the second survivor to take his own life, according to the Israeli Health Ministry.
In an April 2024 Knesset hearing, Nova survivor Guy Ben Shimon claimed that “almost 50” of the festival’s survivors had died by suicide since the attack.
“Few people know, but there have been almost 50 suicides among the Nova survivors. This number, which was true two months ago, may have increased since,” Shimon told a parliamentary hearing for a State Audit Commission.
“He said many of his friends who escaped the massacre could not recover from what they had witnessed,” I24NEWS reported.
Like Roei Shalvev’s mother, there are almost certainly other family members who couldn’t endure the pain of loss as well as the way their loved ones were slaughtered. We’ll probably never know the psychic cost in pain and lives the attack caused. Indeed, the entire Israeli nation keenly feels the death of Roei Shalev. Understanding why doesn’t make it any easier.
Numbers don’t matter. The pain is real, and for many of the living, survivor’s guilt must be overwhelming. For Roei Shalev, his pain is gone. But the memory of his love for Mapal will live on, demonstrating the resolve and resiliency of a people determined to survive.
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