A bomb on a local FOX 13 news van in Salt Lake City fizzled out instead of blowing up on Friday, and police have two suspects in custody. Suspected Charlie Kirk assassin Tyler Robinson is being held nearby.
It was those sneaky Lutherans again. Just kidding. The suspects’ names are Adeeb Nasir, age 58, and Adil Justice Ahmed Nasir, age 31.
The story slipped under the radar over the weekend, but investigators found that the bomb “had been lit but failed to function as designed,” according to court documents revealed by CBS affiliate KUTV early Monday.
On Sunday, the FBI served a search warrant in Salt Lake’s Magna neighborhood west of downtown, but only after evacuating neighboring homes. It’s a good thing, too, since the search found explosives, explosive-related components, firearms, illegal narcotics, and drug paraphernalia.
The two Nasirs were arrested at the scene and could face charges related to weapons possession and threats of terrorism, according to local ABC News affiliate KTVX.
“There was no information about a possible motive,” according to the Associated Press, and my eyes just rolled so hard into the back of my head that I can see my brain stem in startling detail.
More seriously, Channel2Now found what appear to be social media photos of the Nasirs, and I have questions.
The fat one is a furry. pic.twitter.com/vYxy2bSrTU
— Lusi 🏴☠️ (@S1CT) September 15, 2025
Furries, as I’m sure you must know after recent revelations about Charlie Kirk’s assassin’s companion, are people who dress up as animals for purposes of, uh, satisfaction.
My first thought upon seeing the X comment and that photo on the right was, “Birds aren’t furry; they’re feathery.” My second thought was, “Who knows what in the actual hell furries get up to?”
So I asked my paid research assistant, ChatGPT, a question that will haunt me until at least tonight’s second glass of wine: “Do furries ever dress up as birds instead of mammals?”
The things I do for you people.
ChatGPT, in its typically friendly way, replied, “Yes — absolutely. While most furries tend to favor mammal characters (wolves, foxes, cats, dogs, big cats, etc.), there’s a sizable group of fans who create and perform as avian characters.”
“You’ll see them represented at conventions like Anthrocon and Midwest FurFest, often with striking, colorful suits that stand out from the more common wolf/fox/canine designs,” GPT continued. “Would you like me to pull together some examples of avian fursuits from conventions so you can see how they look in practice?”
Thank you, no. And also NO.
It’s at this point that I came to believe that GPT’s typically friendly way is an overly friendly way.
Perhaps with a name like Nasir, the bomb plot was nothing more unusual than “Aloha Snackbar!” But going by the eagle getup, maybe there was some kind of furry solidarity going on. Maybe both… which seems highly unlikely yet oddly intriguing. Either way, that’s some intersectionality I’d really rather not get into.
But hang on there a moment because we aren’t quite yet done with the weirdness.
This appears to be from the arrest documents, and if not, I apologize for getting sucked in by an internet hoax:
White .. Really ?? pic.twitter.com/aJH4uu00nR
— NO CONTEXT MEME (@ssmb291_) September 15, 2025
Read the names, look at the photos, ponder the “white.”
Just in case you’d forgotten, here’s a quick reminder to bring you back up to speed:
- White = Bad.
- Non-White ≥ Good.
Got that? There will be a quiz at the end of the week.
I’m just thankful that the bomb-makers proved as inept as they are odd, and no one was killed or wounded in the attempted terrorist attack.
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