By the end of the 1990s, there were over 1,800 Shoney’s restaurants across 34 American states. Outside most of those restaurants was the statue of a chubby brown-haired boy named Bob — a.k.a. Bob’s Big Boy.
He was based on a real-life six-year-old named Richard “Dickie” Woodruff. (My best guess: Dick’s Big Boy wasn’t as marketable as Bob’s Big Boy, thus the name-change.) By the beginning of the 1950s, “Bob’s Big Boy” had become Shoney’s national mascot.
Millions of Americans could identify the husky lad on sight.
Today, there are just 58 Shoney’s restaurants left. None of the 1,800 Shoney’s from the 1990s survived; the company filed for Chapter 11 protection in 2000 and was acquired by the Lone Star Funds.
Which means, there’s gotta be, like, 1,750 Shoney’s Big Boy statues floating around somewhere in the country!
Come 2028, those statues might have a second life: With just a wee bit of touchup, those statues would bear the uncanny likeness of Gov. JB Pritzker (D-Ill.), the wide-bottomed Big Boy of the Democratic Party.
He wants to be president. Very, very badly.
The Illinois governor is a scion of the Pritzker family, one of the world’s wealthiest families. Together, the Pritzkers control a fortune of over $43 billion, mostly via the Hyatt Hotels Corporation. The governor himself is worth about $3.6 billion.
It makes him an odd fit for today’s Democratic Party and its “Fighting Oligarchy” ethos. Still, some groups are trying: The “Socialists for Pritzker” X account has over 18,000 followers.
Also working against him is his ample girth. Presidential campaigns are more showbiz than public policy, and the optics of a big, fat politician are “broadly” unappealing. According to the World Obesity Federation (not to be confused with the World Wrestling Federation — King Kong Bundy and Yokozuna notwithstanding), the stereotypes of obesity “include laziness, lack of will power, a lack of moral character, bad hygiene, low level of intelligence and unattractiveness.”
Pretty much the polar opposite of what we’d want in a president.
(One side note: Check out the group photo of the World Obesity Federation. None of ‘em are actually fat! I’m so very, very confused.)
Americans haven’t elected a blatantly obese president in over 100 years. You’ve gotta go all the way back to Howard Taft.
It’s probably worse for a rich guy to be overweight. It “feeds” into the stereotype of the rich, privileged fatso who cannot control his greed. (Not saying that’s fair, but the optics are the optics.)
Visually, JB Pritzker on the debate stage with tiny little AOC would be a sight to behold. It beckons the “Futurama” clip of aliens watching reruns of “Friends”:
“Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?”
“Perhaps they are saving that for sweeps.”
He’s also Jewish. That’s not a good thing in today’s Democratic Party because Jews are viewed suspiciously: Young people, especially on the left, are more likely to side with Hamas and the Palestinians than the Israelis. If you’re a Jew, you’re de facto guilty of genocide, colonialism, racism, and apartheid.
The girthy governor is doing his best to weaponize his Jewishness, specifically citing his faith in anti-Trump speeches:
“Stop tearing down the Constitution in the name of my ancestors. Do not claim that your authoritarian power grabs are about antisemitism. When you destroy social justice, you are disparaging the very foundation of Judaism,” said Pritzker, who is Jewish.
He hasn’t been shy about trotting out the ol’ Nazi comparison either:
“The seed that grew into a dictatorship in Europe a lifetime ago didn’t arrive overnight,” Pritzker, who is Jewish, said in his annual State of the State address. “It started with everyday Germans mad about inflation and looking for someone to blame.”
Pritzker said that although he does not “invoke the specter of Nazis lightly,” his deep understanding of history compels him to speak out against Trump’s actions since returning to the presidency, particularly his harsh immigration measures and mass deportation orders.
“If you think I’m overreacting and sounding the alarm too soon, consider this,” he told lawmakers. “It took the Nazis one month, three weeks, two days, eight hours and 40 minutes to dismantle a constitutional republic. All I’m saying is when the five-alarm fire starts to burn, every good person better be ready to man a post with a bucket of water if you want to stop it from raging out of control.”
It’s his smartest play: Pritzker can’t win on optics, so he’ll rely on volume. He’s branding himself to liberals as the loudest, most aggressive Trump-hater in the land — even calling for riots in the streets:
“Never before in my life have I called for mass protests, for mobilization, for disruption, but I am now,” he said to cheers. “These Republicans cannot know a moment of peace. They have to understand that we will fight their cruelty with every megaphone and microphone that we have. We must castigate them on the soapbox and then punish them at the ballot box.”
It was so over-the-top that the president’s son was compelled to respond:
Are you trying to inspire a 3rd assassination attempt on my dad? Two wasn’t enough for you? https://t.co/ewxGWSLsQ4
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) April 28, 2025
This is a story worth following, because Gov. Pritzker is now having something of a moment. We’re in the “trial balloon” phase of Democratic presidential politics, something we observed 50 days ago:
[T] he Democrats will be auditioning a new leader every month. Right now, their candidate du jour is Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Conn.). The tip-off is when “friendly” media outlets including NBC and the New York Times suddenly churn out over-the-top puff pieces — and other outlets, such as The Hill, are opening hard news stories with sentences liberals love: “Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Conn.), who has emerged as one of his party’s loudest critics of the Trump administration…”
That’s how trial balloons work. And when Murphy flops, they’ll audition someone else.
We’re not hearing too much about Mr. Murphy anymore, are we? Seems his “trial balloon” sprung a leak and farted away.
Now, it’s JB’s turn.
Of course, a balloon is a big, bloated, bulbous object that’s full of hot air — and little else.
Not a bad analogy for the Big Boy of the Democratic Party.
But this balloon has money. A whole lot of money! Which means, this story might stick around for a while. It could be a very BIG deal.
After all, you can’t spell “jumbo” without “JB.”
Stay tuned.
One Last Thing: The Democrats are on the ropes, but make no mistake: The donkeys are still dangerous. 2025 will either go down in history as the year we finally Made America Great Again — or the year it all slipped through our fingers. We need your help to succeed! As a VIP member, you’ll receive exclusive access to all our family of sites (PJ Media, Townhall, RedState, Twitchy, Hot Air, Bearing Arms): More stories, more videos, more content, more fun, more conservatism, more EVERYTHING! And if you CLICK HERE and use the promo code FIGHT you’ll receive a Trumpian 60% discount!
Thank you for your consideration!
