The list of things that I’m enjoying about President Trump’s second term is a long one, but one of my favorites goes back to his first turn in the Oval Office. He takes obvious delight in trolling leftists the world over and, the more they freak out, the harder he trolls. A huge upside to having a president who comes from outside of the political machine is that he isn’t at all concerned about the perpetually sensitive feelings of his opponents.
Trump manages to turn the screeching of the left into something fun to watch. Yes, he deliberately trolls leftists a lot, but their fragile psyches turn almost everything he does into a trolling event. I know that he’s serious about Greenland; I’m also pretty sure that he’s enjoying some quality chuckle time watching New World Order libs rending their garments over his desire to acquire it. I wrote this about it on Christmas Eve in 2024:
The entertainment value is in the swagger. That whole, “Maybe I’ll just buy it,” attitude reminds of Rodney Dangerfield’s Al Czervik character in “Caddyshack.”
I really want the Greenland deal to go through, mostly to watch all of the leftists heads going full Scanners. I would also like to throw my hat in the ring to be the first territorial governor of Greenland once it’s ours. Truthfully, I would prefer the title of “Provincial Governor,” but we don’t have provinces. On Monday’s episode of Five O’Clock Somewhere, my co-host and partner in thought crime Stephen Green agreed with me that it’s a much cooler sounding title, even if it isn’t accurate.
My 40-plus years of political activism for the American conservative cause should be enough to get me close to some sort of position of power. While I have very much enjoyed being a grassroots activist, I think it’s time to take this entertainer’s ego of mine for a serious test drive. Can you imagine me with an executive assistant and a staff? Now that I think about it, I would like both a staff of people to do my bidding as well as a long, ornately carved wooden thing to display as a symbol of my authority.
They say that absolute power corrupts absolutely. I’d like to prove that just a smidgen of power can do the trick. My curiosity is boundless and I love learning new things; being a petty mostly benevolent tyrant would be something I haven’t tried before. Sure, it’s probably been floating around on one of my many bucket lists for years, but it hasn’t been at the top of any of them. Thank you, President Trump, for inspiring me to shake things up.
My agenda as Lord Majestic Governor of Greenland would be simple: facilitate the beefing up of American security and make sure that all visiting icky Eurotrash types do a lot of sucking up. They’ll be in barracks-style housing at first, then moved to the Greenland Motel 6 after sufficiently showing appreciation for all things American.
Leaders from countries that aren’t eagerly encouraging state-sponsored terror cells — like Poland and Italy — will stay at the Greenland Trump Tower.
If there is a formal vetting process, I would ask that the committee refrain from asking too many questions about the 1980s, mostly because there’s so much that I don’t remember. Some of it is the stuff of legend, to be sure, but only in circles where people are familiar with things like mug shots and bail. Again, I would hope that my decades of devoted activism make for a sufficient résumé.
Please make “His Most Eminently Entertaining Lord Majestic Governor of Greenland Stephen Kruiser” a reality before the letterhead becomes two pages long.
God Bless America.
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