And, oooh, ick – I stand corrected.
The twee midnight banditos with the well-manicured eyebrows…are ‘men.’
Or so the press release says.
🚨 BREAKING: 2 men arrested in connection with Nov. 1 Harvard Medical School explosion, FBI announces pic.twitter.com/MJjh6bbl5m
— Fox News (@FoxNews) November 4, 2025
Still can’t believe it, honestly, but it’s the FBI saying it.
So, what did these two subversive knuckleheads do exactly?
Two Massachusetts men are facing serious charges following a dramatic explosion that rocked Harvard University’s Longwood Medical Campus early Saturday morning.
According to authorities, 18-year-old Logan David Patterson from Plymouth and 20-year-old Dominick Frank Cardoza from Bourne were arrested and charged with conspiracy to damage by means of fire or an explosive. The explosive device, believed to be a large commercial firework similar to a roman candle, detonated inside a wooden locker on the fourth floor of the Goldenson Building around 2:45 AM.
…The aftermath showed no structural damage to the building, and all labs remained operational. However, investigators acted quickly, combing through evidence and security footage to identify the two culprits. Reports indicate that they discarded distinctive clothing items as they fled the scene, showcasing a clear awareness of being caught on camera.
It seems they were pretty easily fingered.
…Following the release of the suspects’ images, members of the public bravely stepped forward to identify Patterson and Cardoza, leading to their swift apprehension. Officials emphasized the extensive resources that were mobilized to ensure there was no ongoing threat to the public.
The feds aren’t playing around with these two, even though one defense attorney swears his client is the proverbial ‘good kid’ and that there’s no way this case belongs in federal court.
At the arraignment yesterday, both malcontents were charged with ‘conspiracy to damage by means of fire or an explosive.’ That carries up to a five year sentence and $250K fine if convicted.
…They were both ordered to stay away from all Harvard buildings and cannot handle any firearms or fireworks.
Both suspects did not answer questions while leaving court.
However, one of their lawyers told reporters his client is a “good kid” with no record.
He also says he doesn’t believe this matter should be in federal court to begin with.
…”The conduct alleged in the charging document was not only irresponsible and risky, it was criminal,” said Leah Foley, United States Attorney for the District of Massachusetts. “And there are consequences for those who commit federal crimes.“
IT’S JUST AN ISSUE OF PROPERTY DAMAGE WAAH
…Stefan Rozembersky, Cardoza’s defense attorney, called the case an overreach by the government.
“The rodeo just started. We received all the information that the government has which is very scarce. We’re going to seek more information about why they think these two kids were connected to this issue,” said Rozembersky. “This is just an issue of property damage. Even aside from anything alleged with my client, this is not a situation that should be in federal court.”
I’ll bet the lawyer and his ‘good kid’ client are pissed about that, because in a local Massachusetts court, they’d pay a hundred buck fine a piece for youthful exuberance and be out roaming the streets already.
What’s been going on in Healey and Wu’s Massachusetts for so long has been a lack of consequences for any crimes, so none of these potential perpetrators give any thought to what happens after the dirty deed is done.
Maybe now they’re going to have to at least consider federal intervention a possibility.
It’s a lucky thing the cop was Johnny on the spot, and there was no big-time damage, or these two would be looking at even stiffer penalties.
I mean, these two goobers weren’t even from Boston. They were in town for ‘Halloween activities.’
And then decide to light off something explosive on the fourth-floor hallway of the Harvard Medical School neurobiology building?
What kind of mentally defective cretin does that?
…According to the charging document, witnesses said the men were visiting Wentworth College for Halloween activities, including parties at area schools. On the day of the blast, surveillance footage captured the two walking toward Harvard’s medical school. Witnesses said the pair chose the building because it looked abandoned and got into it via the roof, the charging document states.
Witnesses said the pair lit a roman candle outside of the building and placed a cherry bomb inside of a locker in the building that then exploded, according to the charging document.
“Let me be clear: Setting off an explosive device inside a locker at an institution geared toward higher education is not some harmless college prank. It’s selfish, it’s short-sighted, and it’s a federal crime,” said Ted Docks, the FBI’s special agent in charge.
A guy who does his eyebrows, for one thing. I guess.
AFTER A NIGHT OF PARTYING
WATCH: Suspects in @harvardmed explosion stuffed a firework inside wooden locker after night of partying in the Boston area, @FBIBoston alleges
FULL STORY: https://t.co/CmaEfvzUp4@7News pic.twitter.com/dzbVBKFAzZ
— Stephen Quinn (@stephenquinntv) November 5, 2025
The Hamas-loving Pally protest movement is going to be most affected by this revelation, as they were all set to anoint two new martyrs for the cause, sure that this had been a guerrilla resistance move.
Only it turns out to be Beavis and Butthead on a bender.
Speaking of buttheads, as of last night, Wu remains at City Hall.
Boston Mayor Michelle Wu, who ran unopposed, officially claimed a second term Tuesday, the decisive end to a campaign that cemented her dominance in city politics. https://t.co/e24ZWwn3sb pic.twitter.com/u7orb96aRV
— The Boston Globe (@BostonGlobe) November 5, 2025
Heh.
They all deserve each other.
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