Welcome to Wednesday, April 1, 2026. Today is National Trombone Players Day. Obviously, it’s also April Fools’ Day, but I’ll get to that.
1515: The Portuguese fleet under Afonso de Albuquerque captures the Persian fortress of Hormuz, renaming it the Fort of Our Lady of the Conception.
1889: The first dishwashing machine, invented by Josephine Cochrane, is marketed in a Chicago newspaper.
1891: Telephone connection between London and Paris officially opens to the public.
1957: The BBC airs a three-minute April Fools’ Day hoax featuring spaghetti-growing trees in Switzerland.
1966: “Hold On, I’m Comin'” single released by Sam & Dave.
1970: John Lennon and Yoko Ono release a hoax that they are having dual sex-change operations.
Birthdays today include: German Chancellor Otto von Bismarck; Russian pianist, composer Sergei Rachmaninoff; author Anne McCaffrey; actress and singer Debbie Reynolds; DJ The Real Don Steele; actress Ali McGraw; Rudy Isley of the Isley Brothers; Tom Shipley of Brewer and Shipley; as well as singers Henry Gross and Susan Boyle.
If today is your day, make it a great one!
* * *
I had actually thought about doing some kind of April Fools’ column today. Thought I’d staple something together saying I’d changed my mind about everything, and that socialism was the way to go, that I had voted for Kamala Harris in the last election, and that I still think she’d have been the better choice. That a nuclear-tipped Iran wouldn’t have been a problem, that we’re all peaceful folks. That Donald Trump actually did all the things the Democrats have been salivating over. That I now saw the error of my ways, and I would be a Democrat going forward. You know the drill.
Thing is, at my age, my spine will not allow me to do so dramatic a recto-cranial inversion. I’ve actually watched the idiot parade for longer than a lot of you have been alive, and over that time, I’ve been pushed into the conclusion that these people simply cannot be parodied. At least not by me. Truth is, I envy people like the staff at the Babylon Bee, which Glenn Reynolds has labeled “America’s Newspaper of Record.” I get the occasional zinger in, true, but not at their level.
So, before I got three paragraphs in, I scrapped it, and I started hunting around for other ideas.
In truth, finding subjects that I feel strongly enough about to write about and do a good job at it is always a bit of a struggle, and it’s one I have every single day, often more than once per day. That’s one of the reasons I do one column per day, with the occasional march off into the weeds behind the VIP wall. I write an astounding amount of things I never use, for that reason.
Then, I saw this making the rounds and recognized the potential in simply tapping into the festival of idiocy that they call “No Kings” and letting them fill the role of the April Fools. Certainly, it’s a vast and fertile field.
“Is it a little bit homophobic to focus on the straights of Hormuz rather than the gays of Hormuz?”
No Kings protester, completely serious: “Yes, absolutely, I agree.” pic.twitter.com/ugCREhF8WZ
— Drew Pavlou 🇦🇺🇺🇸🇺🇦🇹🇼 (@DrewPavlou) March 31, 2026
Understand, please, that this woman is deadly serious. The video brings to mind this quote: “It was always the women and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies, and nosers−out of unorthodoxy.” — George Orwell,1984.
Orwell knew his stuff. He certainly had allegory down.
Did you catch the look on the interviewer’s face? Look closely at the end of the clip where he doesn’t say anything, but recognizes he’s got a clip that will break the internet.
Here’s another example:
Young No Kings protestor trying to hard to remember the script. 🤣
“Well I hate Trump because, well he’s doing everything. Um, he’s making it a crime to be trans, he’s immigrate. Um, he’s deporting people who are like legal immigrants. And he’s deporting people who are not even… pic.twitter.com/SjKoavwAGJ
— Based Jessica (@RealJessica) March 31, 2026
This clip, if nothing else, validates the notion that all we need to do to discredit the left is let them speak. Give them enough proverbial rope. They make a far stronger argument against their politics than anything I could ever come up with.
And the hits keep coming:
Q: “What do you think his [Trump’s] most evil characteristics are?”
A: “He’s a capitalist”pic.twitter.com/NPz1nAaSwO
— Defiant L’s (@DefiantLs) April 1, 2026
Ask any of these people to get specific about their objections to Donald Trump, and this is pretty much what you get:
This is not a scene from ‘Mad Max.’
This is a ‘No Kings’ protest today…
— Oli London (@OliLondonTV) March 28, 2026
At the end of the day, Kevin McCarthy has this one right:
Jesse Watters: “Tell me a little bit about No Kings. What’s it all about?”
Kevin McCarthy: “They’re not fighting kings; they’re fighting election results they don’t agree with. It’s not a no kings rally; it’s a no Republicans rally…and it wasn’t even close. It was a popular… pic.twitter.com/JPcO37ni2M
— Julia 🇺🇸 (@Jules31415) March 31, 2026
Well, yes. And look, nobody is going to be successful in having a healthy, productive policy debate with these people. That’s why, years ago, I started not focusing on changing people’s minds, but reinforcing the good thoughts and logic that are already inside most people. The numbers are larger, and the effect is far greater.
SMH🚨: Wow, Liberals at the Seattle ‘No Kings’ protest: dressing up as clowns while parading a Trump impersonator in a diaper.
This is what ‘resistance’ looks like in 2026? A full-blown circus throwing a tantrum over a democratically elected president. Peak absurdity. 🤡🎪 pic.twitter.com/vOtoaDeUtD
— Officer Lew (@officer_Lew) March 29, 2026
The latest claim I’ve seen of the turnout for this festival of the brainless is eight million protestors. That seems large, and I’m sure they’d like you to think it’s a significant number. They’re certainly trumpeting that number like it’s something I’m supposed to be impressed by. But let’s do the math.
Our current population is 349 million people. They brought eight million, if we assume their numbers are correct. Yeah, not likely, but for the hell of it, let’s go with that number. Let’s see… 249 million versus their claimed eight million? That works out to 2.29%, more or less.
So, not nearly as massive and influential as they’d have us believe.
I’ll leave you with a cartoon our Margolis and Cox put together at the end of last week:
Thought for the day: “Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves.” ―
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